The Guru Blog (Part 2): Up Close And 'Nothing' Personal

In this life, there are all kinds of relationships starting with mother and father and extending to siblings, relatives, teachers, friends, lovers, children, pets, nature, substances, etc..I have been in relation with all of these from birth and the ones very close and dear to me, I have formed attachments to and love dearly but usually not without a 'little' condition. I feel this has been the general way of things from both sides of my relationships from day one. Who is exempt from this? We may have said, "I love you unconditionally cherie! " but this was probably not quite true, if we admit it. Somewhere in there a little voice says, "Yeah but.. if you disappoint, hurt me, or change in any way which doesn't fit my expectations of you, the deal's off".

I didn't know 'real' unconditional love until I found the One who didn't respond to a person who wanted a 'special' relationship but only saw the truth of my being. This is my guru. This one has no interest in my personal stories and is not impressed by any personal achievements or failures. I was simply not 'seen' in the usual way of appraisal. I was seen as a bright new dawn; fresh, innocent and with no history. This unconditional love has proven itself dependable for the two years I have been in this 'relationship'. In this exceptional love, all I can do is be who I truly am without identifying with the self centred person who needs and wants but rather, see myself as the One reflected in the guru's eyes.

Initially though, I became VERY attached to the form and the ideas I had about the one who points to the reality of life beyond the concepts and delusions of the ego's world. I approached this meeting like any relationship when first falling in love; full of the desire to be loved back and to have recognition and confirmation of my worth. That's all I knew! It is a normal reaction and almost always happens for both women and men. There's no shame in this, it is just part of past conditioning. It is tribal, in a way, so is really part of a collective history. There is a sense that acceptance and approval is required to ensure we are protected by our tribe who love us and not exiled into the wilderness of savage beasts. This tribal brain functions as a basic survival instinct.

It was quite heart breaking when I first realized that this relationship was 'nothing personal'. However, it was and remains always loving and compassionate. The day this happened, I was in Rishikesh, India where I had come. through a miracle (really, if you knew my financial circumstances!), to take part in the annual season of yoga festivals and satsang* gatherings during which, I attended five weeks of open satsangs with Sri Moojiji. My guru Anantaji (Mooji's beloved spiritual son) was also there to attend these gatherings and after following his online satsangs for ten months, we met in person for the first time. I was ecstatic to meet the one I had been calling Father and who gave me the beautiful name 'Shanti' which means 'peace'. I spent a blissful time in his presence, sharing satsang with our Master Sri Moojiji in the mornings and later in the evenings again in satsang with Father and other sangha** members who came from all over the world. It was heaven on earth. Imagine, like in the days of Christ or Buddha, walking along the Ganges with an enlightened being and then stopping to sit on the Ghats of the holy Ganga to hear the wisdom of the sage in the company of other devotees, all there for the divine message and to ultimately discover it within.

The joy and love of his presence was no match for this human heart and the day he left Rishikesh to go back to Bangalore, I couldn't say 'good bye'. I didn't know when or if I would ever see him again and I felt so overwhelmed with the grief of loss, I went to Mother Ganga and sat on her banks and cried over the personal love which was so painful and prayed to let go of this childish attachment knowing that, like all worldly attachments, it doesn't last. And in her unconditional love and compassion, she washed it away along with my tears, offered to the holy river in sincere surrender.

Once the suffering caused by the erroneous ideas of a special personal relationship, (that ties the knot with 'I will never...', 'you will never...' or 'I will always...', 'you will always...') was seen and dissolved, there was a relaxation and deep peace that remained. A stronger love spread beyond the boarders of the tiny world inhabited and protected by a fearful and possessive dictator. The honeymoon period ended as it should have and since then a trust of the guru's grace is the only attachment left along with devotion to a higher truth revealed through the guru and a commitment (vow) to follow and absorb His wisdom with gratitude for the blessing of his unconditional love.

I was lucky enough to be granted a second miracle and went again to India this year to attend the season of satsang with Sri Moojiji, where I was once again in Father's presence and spent one week in a silent retreat at Tiruvannamalai with my international brothers and sisters who came as I did to receive the same unconditional love and wisdom that flows from Him without any restraint for the ones he calls His children. Om Arunachala Om! Jai Bhagavan! Bhakti yoga***is showing this one that the reflection of the living master is also the constant presence that is felt within this being.

* 'Satsang' meaning: 'to be in association with truth'. These are gatherings where one is guided by the guru, teacher or spiritual preceptor into the self discovery of their true nature through talks given by the guru where questions can be addressed. It can also be an event of devotional singing and chanting. Also, generally, it is any experience which has helped one to 'evolve', so to speak, as a result of the life circumstance they encountered after having enquired into the situation.

** 'Sangha' meaning: A sangha is a community of 'like minded' people who meet (in satsang for example) on a regular basis to share the guru's or teacher's pointings. 

*** 'Bhakti yoga' meaning: A devotional path to Self-realization

Dearest One

I honestly don't know how to love You.

It is not the love of a woman toward a man.

It is not the love of a daughter for a father.
It is not the love of a sister and brother.
This love has no physical or material reference and therefore is very hard to express.
The only way I can show or demonstrate this love is to follow your pointings, knowing they are sourced in this very love.
I want to 'return' this love to it's source which I cannot touch but only sense as ALL THERE IS.
I follow You and the Truth of your expression because it is the closest this one can get to the Love that comes from the source of all Creation and comes back to itself through a pure Heart such as Yours.

~ May this Love be recognized as my own and may all who look for love find this One True Love

May all beings find peace

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

Intro To The Guru Blog: What is 'Guru'? (Part One)

The East Indian culture is rich in the wisdom of the ages and for over 3000 years has produced a treasure trove of sacred texts which have aided the seeker in discovering the guarded mysteries revealing the nature of existence. This store of knowledge was considered secret and only passed on to the chosen and initiated  few by the sages and saints who authored them. The holy teachings of antiquity are still considered to be the basis of daily life in modern India and are familiar to a vast population of religious and nonreligious alike in India. The difference from the time they were written to present day is that these teachings, once considered secret, are now widely available to any one who is drawn to the valuable life lessons they offer. Here in the west, it has barely been a century since this knowledge has crossed the ocean in the form of yoga and meditation. Now, with so much accessibility through literature and internet, there is no limit or restriction to the many translations of these ancient and respected volumes of sacred knowledge. It is one of India's most valuable exports.  

A common and respected tradition of Indian spiritual practice, which is the main way in which these teachings are passed on today, is that of seeking out and following a guru. Even before knowing exactly what the term 'guru' means, some opinions reflect a negative and even suspicious attitude regarding the subject. Many are quick to criticize and chastise anyone who is associated with a guru in the sense of following one as a spiritual teacher. It may be considered naive, backward, and ridiculous to bow (figuratively and literally) before anyone ("What?! How could you be so gullible?'). Many, in the West especially, will automatically think of brain washing cults and religious fanaticism in relation to the mere mention of a guru. Then there are all those sensationalized scandals which are obviously the rule rather than the exception. 

I have encountered these judgments personally, but this has not at all been my experience in the last couple of years knowing and following my respected and dearly loved Guru Anantaji who also follows, as I do, the teachings of a revered and globally renowned spiritual teacher called Mooji. It is also not the experience of the millions of beings who have discovered the joy and lightness of having an awakened teacher as a mentor and guide. So, for anyone curious, open and interested enough to listen, I want to use this blog to share my experiences along with anecdotes, videos, pictures and other material related to the devotional and spiritual homage of guru.

Before getting into that, let me try to shed some light on the word 'guru'. In Hindi it simply means a venerated and respected teacher. In the spiritual arena, from sanskrit translations of it's use in the various vedic texts, it denotes an enlightened being referred to as someone who leads the seeker from darkness to light. The use of the phrase 'dispeller of darkness' is a very popular usage. Suffice it to say that 'guru' is a very ancient word that has been translated in various ways but, generally it means 'illumined teacher'. This is a basic generic definition and throughout this blog I hope to expand on this classic understanding of 'guru' to create one that fits with the experiences of a modern world, especially in the western hemisphere. As a reader, (if there is one or two out there) your input, feedback and direct experiences with gurus (good or bad) are very welcome, as I expect there must be a lot more devotees than just this one. 

I had a guru before I even knew I had one. Throughout my 53 years, the 'teachers' I encountered didn't call themselves guru but went by names like: 'life coach', 'personal trainer', 'motivational speaker', etc.. And indeed they weren't gurus but they were what was available at the time to an unsatisfied, disheartened soul such as myself 25 years ago. Gradually the forms the teacher showed up in were more and more spiritual in nature and step by step, I found myself on a path to something greater than my 'self'. Finally, it wasn't the messenger, but rather the message ( finding a deep resonance within) that led me to the feet of the one I call my beloved Guruji. ('Ji' is a suffix used in Indian culture to express great respect). Before I could say 'guru' I was following the pointings of a gentle, kind man who I only later realized was and is my guru.

Actually many people follow some form of guru whether they know it or not. The 'guru' can show up in all kinds of guises to point the unsuspecting 'student' in a more fortunate ('auspicious') direction. Life tends to teach the lessons of a guru when an actual one is not physically present. It can sometimes be a much harsher, more uncompromising teacher where there is presented a great challenge to overcome which can lead to  greater understanding and insights into the deeper meaning of life. Sickness, financial loss, death, broken relationships are those situations that may lead to inner reflection on the meaning of existence and can be the best guru for those who, at some point feel 'enough is enough'. This is often the impetus that brings beings to the actual feet of their embodied guru. 

Guru's don't have to be in any particular form either, like that of another human. Sri Ramana Maharshi, (1879-1950) was drawn to the holy mountain Arunachala in Tiruvannamalai as a sacred form of Lord Shiva, where he received his instruction in silence while he lived in a cave for more than 20 years. He claimed Arunachala was his guru and once his devotees convinced him to live among them at the base of the mountain, he began to verbally share his teachings of Self-enquiry. 

Wherever, whenever or as whatever the guru shows up, it will always be the best for the one who discovers this precious union of heaven and earth.  For now, as my first post, I guess that's enough. This is all fairly new to me and I don't claim to be any kind of expert. I'm just a lay person, (laying my 'person's' head at the lotus feet of my guru), who feels like opening up this beautiful experience to those who may be curious or slightly interested in knowing what it's like for one who is associated with a true guru, 'illumined teacher'.  I'll continue exploring and sharing the beautiful and rare opportunity of a lifetime whenever inspired to by the grace and blessing of Anantaji (Father) and our beloved Master Sri Mooji. May this be found by those who wish to go beyond their own ideas of autonomy and find a greater freedom that knows no physical bounds and which the guru has already discovered. May all beings know peace. Om Shanti, Shanti Shanti 

~Shanti Mauna